November 6, 2010
boxes, duct tape, luggages, hand-carry, boxes, duct tape, luggages, hand-carry, cargo.
It’s that never-ending pattern of packing and repacking and the wait for my COE letter and visa application to Australia that leads me to a realization. I’m less than 24 hours away from ending my life in Kuala Lumpur.
4 years in Kuala Lumpur. The original plan was 3, I extended a year to do my masters. To tell you the truth, perhaps I would act differently if I went as plan and left after three years. I would be hysterical. I would be sentimental. I would cry.
The fact is Kuala Lumpur had truly been the best years of my life. I grew here. I became an adult. Kuala Lumpur was the easiest city to adapt to, it gave me ease and comfort that other cities I’ve lived in did not provide at first glance. Of course, there was the downs. A break-up, hostility with some housemates and frenemies, and the near-fail subjects..but the gray memories will always be outshined by the colorful ones.
Then I met a boy. Who (might) will be my future.
What made my life great here, changed after the fourth year started out. I grew older. Tired of the scene. Wanted to concentrate on my studies instead. Wanted to be a better person. Focused on work. I looked at other kids and saw they had my past-twinkle. They shined and looked at the gleaming lights with anticipation. I stared at the gleaming lights and realized, what am I still doing here? I don’t belong here anymore.
I saw that if I stayed here too long, I outshined myself so much that I faded.
That is why, this time around, it is different. I will not be hysterical. I will not be sentimental, and most of all,
I will not cry.