how to write your enh2407 assignment

April 10, 2008

TAKEN FROM MY FACEBOOK NOTE

Can’t seem to get those paragraphs right? Want to know how to get your brain juice flowing? Want to know how you can put yourself in those romantic poets’ shoes?

STEP 1. DEPRESSION
Maybe being depressed could help you start on your essay, or inspire ideas for the essay. Come to think of it, most of the greatest writers known to man are depressed alcoholics. And how do you get depressed?
Think about your past lovers and how bad your relationship ended. Or think about that one thing you’re practically obsessed about getting but can’t… Or how bout this. Think about death. Think about dying. Yeah,, imagine that… everybody on earth will die one day. Even you. Even the postman, or the milkman, or that nice auntie that lives across the street from you. It’s just a matter of time… might even be tomorrow…

Depressed yet?

Once you are semi-depressed, turn on your ipod (or itunes, or winamp if you live in the year 2001) and turn on these tracks (if you don’t have them, I recommend you downloading them… that is, if you do want to get depressed)
1. Feist – Let it Die
2. Sebastien Tellier – La Ritournelle
3. Counting Crows – Colorblind
4. Telefon Tel Aviv – I Lied
5. DJ Shadow – Six Days
Yeahh.. Depressed aren’t ya?

STEP 2.Get intoxicated
Most of the Romantic poets had something in particular that they were addicted to, whether it was alcohol, drugs or women. Addictions act as a stimulant to open that small little door in your brain, which can lead to imagination beyond the capacity of a normal human’s brain. It releases your inhibitions and your consciousness which acts as a barrier will set all those suppressed emotions free… Even Coleridge confessed to have been under the influence of opium when he wrote Kubla Khan.
recommended alcoholic drinks: anything with more than 30% of alcohol. For extreme effects, try Absinthe (if its legal in Malaysia- or not, which makes the experience even more fun).
recommended illegal substances: marijuana. and… others that i probably should not mention publicly (but you can go find out yourself.. hehe).

STEP 3. Have a romantic affair with nature
Once you’re depressed, and intoxicated, start by staring at the rose bush in your garden, or the trees, or a flat grey stone near your fish pond, or even the homeless beggar who waits outside the Asia Cafe parking lot and demands a tip from you… and start professing your love for its beauty. Its beauty lies in its ordinariness. its so primitive… and savage.

Oh! How exxxotic. How savage!
An image of a homeless beggar-
Away! I have pushed thee out of my way
For your primitiveness have intoxicated me
and drowned me into a wine-like ecstasy
Thy skin so tender, yet so rough
just like a peel from an orange, which i have eaten enough
(Ode to a homeless beggar, lines 11-17 by: Me)

still stuck staring at the same paragraph you wrote yesterday?

then go to the last resort:
pray.

now stop facebooking, and start doing your assignment!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAHHH!
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3 Responses to “how to write your enh2407 assignment”

  1. Tristan Says:

    Depression surely gets you in the mood for some good old poetry writing.

    Nothing like it. Ok maybe weed and some booze can help. But you still need to be miserable before hand.

  2. Yasir :) Says:

    Heelarious. . . . dang, Does this work for mec3454 too?

  3. ezila Says:

    HAHAHA
    “last resort: pray”
    for miracles which come in the form of dateline extensions.

    and yes! Let It Die gives the perfect dose of mellowness.


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