I love mornings, 6 am.
it used to be an ungodly hour, but now, it’s the only hour keeping me sane.

I loathe evenings, 5pm.
its the time that i feel farthest from you; distance and time mend together into a warp which takes you away from me.

I love bedtime, 9pm.
it gives me hope, a chance to dream. a thought knowing that when I wake up, you’ll be there.

listening to: kings of convenience – declaration of dependence album.
image by gwarf

I am so grateful.

My Dad came back from London with a Canon 500D as my birthday present.
OH. MY. GOD.
I thought he’d buy me the 1000D, or at most, the 450D.

But he got me the 500D.

And my mom… got me another Longchamp bag.
I just crossed out two items off my eternal wishlist.
I’m seriously thankful for this. I haven’t gotten a present from them in years (more than 4 to be exact). They usually don’t like to buy me things. I usually save up for things I want to buy.

Once again, thank you daddy and mumsy!

your attitude changes.

when i was younger, about the time of primary school, i would sulk. if i didn’t like something,
i’d scrunch my face into a frown. sure,  i still frown, but you learn to accept things. you understand that your attitude or personality, however negative it may be, will contribute to your surroundings. i can’t sulk as i used to..that would be childish.

your perspective changes.
you used to see life from one angle. the angle of a angsty-teen or a spoiled 10 year old. empathy was a foreign word. but as you grow, you start to understand. start to put yourself in other people’s shoes. you can’t make decisions based on one-sided truths, you need to see the bigger, wider picture.

and here i am now. 22 years old. i can’t believe i have become an adult. as a kid you look at those people called “adults” and you wonder. how its like to stay up late, how its like to make money. how “adults” can sleep late yet still be the ones who are up the earliest. i remember that doe-eyed child, the 4 year old riding her tricycle in front of Marjory lane. she sold lemonade on the street of her neighbourhood, made snow angels during terrible blizzards, and looked at life in only one perspective. that kid is gone, but her memory is still alive.

arrived caracas about three days ago.
i don’t feel that jetlagged but i sleep at 8pm and wake up at 5am, so can you consider that some kind of form  of jet-lagging?

this city is awesome in it’s own way. sure, its no metropolis like london or new york
but it looks like a city lost in time, living in its past glory.
the glorious 1980s. when the oil prevailed.

that’s it for now. will continue updating about this city!

The cosmos and stars must be stirring up quite a frenzy, because down in planet earth, I seem to be experiencing one of the lowest points in my life.
The last semester of this year has been giving me the wildest rollercoaster ride I’ve experienced in a while. Upset and disappointed are daily feelings… Useless is what I seem to portray.

The tipping point was yesterday. My planned trip which cost my parents almost $2k delayed because of unforseen traffic in Jakarta. I began to wonder what might be going through my parent’s minds? $2k down the drain? They couldve used that for my education. The aforementioned education that is now walking on thin ice.

Useless, skill-less, tactless. I feel less of everything. I feel less because what makes me whole is miles away from me. They are trying to take us apart. Testing our strength. Testing our fidelity.

Testing what I’m made of, and what I’m made of without you.

back to leaving the contentment of the dull and routine-less life of an unemployed in kuala lumpur, and once again (not) looking forward to hello-goodbyes, sleepless transit-stops and immigration lines.
goodbye kuala lumpur.
hello jakarta (9 oct 09)
hello singapore (11 oct 09)
hello frankfurt. (12 oct 09)
and lastly, hello caracas. (12 oct 09)

This is definitely not one of my best days.

Why is it that females face days like these once every month. Does God not like us? Are we being punished for something?

Blame it on Eve, then.

Minal Aidin Wal Faizin. Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Bathin!

Sorry God. I know I wasn’t good this year. Hope You can still forgive me. Hehehe.

oh, cherating.

there was no sun, but that didn’t keep us from enjoying the breeze…

photos courtesy of Ridzki

because i didn’t have time to be artistic

hehehe