Filed under: random updates
my laptop is dying on me its starting to run really s l o w and sometimes it wont open at all or die out in the middle of work it overheats and so i decided to move all my documents on c: to andi’s external hard disk for the time being and i deleted all my pictures and the music files in my music folder and my documents and now though its running a tad bit faster than before it feels even more emptier in a sense that it doesn’t feel whole anymore because it lost its core components and my itunes library was empty and i wanted to go crazy because i had like 3000 songs there and although most of my songs are on d: but once i tried putting the mp3 files into itunes again it froze and i thought maybe i should just not use itunes anymore so lately i’ve been using last.fm player but there are times when i want to hear a specific song and you can’t do that you gotta hear the random songs they play oh but i’ve become quite infatuated with telefon tel aviv and a swedish singer named jens lekman or something like that and it was the perfect companion for studying plt 3470 or politics of development oh yeah i have all these theories of development in my head but the linkage is still hazy and i’m rather worried whether i can do well on the exam but hey isn’t everyone? and it got me to think whether indonesia will ever reach that point of development that is on the same level as rich capitalist countries because indonesia can be so random and there are so many things to consider before taking on a model of development okay and now im becoming really random and bram and i are talking about why education is expensive and we are just blabbering and we are becoming more and more random and im upset because my weight is constantly fluctuating from being fortyfive kilograms and now im practically fifty kilograms oh my god i am going crazy and i think i should start watching what i eat and cut the sweets and carbs and start swimming again hahaha and you know i keep on singing phoenix’s you can’t blame it on anybody it reminds me of the time me and brian were driving around sydney and i think im gonna burn phoenix’s alphabetical album which i like better than it’s never been like that and im gonna put it in bram’s car so i can sing along on the way to KL haha okay im becoming more random and i think we should just end it here so goodbye
Filed under: random updates
i’m a cyborg but that’s ok
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i don’t normally watch korean movies, but i think this one is a must see!
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in other news, finally found the Melissa Campana bag in KL! last item and was 20% off!
“The Chaveli Song”
by: abraham auzan, kemi harahap, tyas harjanto, and farhan fauzi (B-7-07)
Chav’s last night before departing Kuala Lumpur (with the teh tarik, roti canai and nasi campuuur) and heading home to Zoetermeer, Netherlands
Filed under: heart's desire
life is more colorful when it’s black and white.
the beauty of depression lies within the fact that you can give yourself completely to an invisible force,
so powerful and relentless.
11:30 am.
my head is spinning.
as i brought my head up, a BANG! hit me like a dozen bricks. it’s somatic affect sinking through my wrenching nerves.
never have i felt this air of dizzyness in the past few weeks.
what hit me did not have a form. it’s incorporeal physique struck me harder than the heaviest object alive. it danced drunkenly inside my head, creating chaos to my cognitive armor.
i lacked sleep. i devoured an overdose of caffeine.
and i realized i had made a mistake.
the guilt is chasing me. it ran after me as would a police to a thief.
i was the thief.
i stole it’s right to justice. i was overcome by greed and self pleasure.
i am dehydrating. My thirst for peace is overwhelming. My hunger could not be controlled.
i will become a cannibal.
rationality is absent from my brain. i have become an animal, a beast in disguise that seeks only for my personal indulgence. i needed something. i needed it.
its form is tempting. i can remember its taste, sweet and sour,
its texture playing with my tongue- like a child and their favorite toy
i wanted it,
i wanted it to fulfill my hunger. to please my curiosity. to sympathize for my pain.
as i drew closer to it, i realized the consequences.
i shall be condemned… yet the sin, is like a daisy in the meadow.
it called on to me.. it screamed my name…
it promised me of a fairytale love with rainbows and cheesy love songs
rationality knocked on my door.
it came home from it’s holiday. it asked politely to come in.
its body was ragged. rationality had been abused, physically and violently…
it dropped to its knees and cried an ocean.
pleading for me to wake up
it shook my shoulders hastily… it slapped my cheeks twice.
unfortunately,
i had been unconscious all this time. i had died along with my sensibility.
i was a zombie who woke up from the dead.
credits to chavizzle
minggu ini merupakan minggu terberat dan paling banyak cobaan.
tugas kuliah, pemilu MUSA, puasa, depresi, kurang tidur (tetapi bukan insomnia), cuaca buruk, tekanan batin, hormon naik turun, dehidrasi, deadlines, dan lain lain.
memang minggu yang sangat ajaib. sampai2 saya bisa menulis blog dgn bahasa indonesia (yang sebelumnya belum pernah terjadi)
ya tuhan, berilah saya kekuatan 
Filed under: heart's desire
sungguh aneh.
intuisiku memang tidak pernah salah.
